| Symptom | Translation |
|---|---|
Inability to belch | No. Burp. For. You. |
Abdominal bloating and discomfort | Your belly gets swelly. |
Nausea, or chest pain (especially after eating) | It can feel like a breakup (your heart hurts) or a new romance (your stomach is woozy)—but not in a good way. |
Frequent, painful hiccups | Like a baby, we just need to be burped— oh wait. |
Acid reflux | Yeah, that’s heartburn, friends. |
Audible gurgling noises from the chest and lower neck | It sounds like the last bit of water is draining from the bathtub, but for hours, and inside of you. |
Excessive and/or uncontrollable flatulence | Too many farts, they’re all coming from you, and there’s nothing you can do to stop them. |
Difficulty vomiting (occurs in many cases, but not all) | What comes up, won’t come out. |
Social anxiety and inhibition (due to the above) | Your body contributes to a conversation in ways you never asked it to. Naturally, you’d prefer it keep its opinions to itself. |
